Am I That Strong?
by WrathWings
Summary: Dean/Castiel AU. Not slash yet, but in later chapters it will be. Right now it's not even pre-slash. Castiel meets his first crossroads demon. But Dean isn't what he expected. T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so wow. Um. I have no idea what this is. It started off as a tattoo idea and spiralled out of control. This is seriously AU as you'll soon find out. No slash as of yet, but I'm planning on making more chapters which will be slash. Maybe pre-slash at the most. Title is from a Fuel song, "Falls on Me". Amazing song. So yeah. Read and Review people.

* * *

Castiel's father goes missing when the boy is ten. Chuck just kneels down one day and says goodbye like he always does before he's just gone like a ghost. Castiel doesn't know what it means when his father doesn't come home; he can see the hurt and worry on his mother's face and he watches it fade from worry to anger to apathy. Once the police have investigated, they abandon the case and leave their broken family alone even more fractured than before.

Gabriel doesn't say anything about their father. Not a word. He starts smoking and drinking and generally causing chaos and disorder. Castiel doesn't judge because it's the way his brother copes. Amelia tries discipline, but her husband's disappearance has left her withered and indifferent; eventually she just ignores the principal's calls and the school just stops calling.

Castiel lets it go on for two years because he has no idea how to make it better and then he finds God. Well, he finds his mother's torn up bible lying in the bookcase and he begins to pray. He prays because the devote are blessed and he figures if he believes hard enough, then God will give him his father back.

Three more years pass and now Castiel is bitter fifteen year old that hates God. He stops praying. Instead, he goes back to watching his brother destroy himself and listening to his mother crying in her room. For a month or two, he feels as though he could live with it because he's not an optimist; he's a realist and this is his life.

Everything gets worse when Zachariah knocks on their door and invites himself in. He's a distant relative of Chuck's and heard of Amelia's awful situation. Zachariah holds her hand as she weeps and Castiel makes sure to finds Gabriel's gaze and hold it._ Something is not right here. _

For one, it took Zachariah five years to come out of the woodwork. Plus, the way he's looking at Amelia makes Castiel think of an old pervert. Without hearing a word, Castiel knows Gabriel agrees.

But neither of them can stop Zachariah from wooing their mother into dates and movies and kisses that have no business taking place. Not even Gabriel's pranks can deter the older man. It does, however, get Gabriel a black eye and reform school in the fall.

That's when Castiel remembers it. He digs up one of his father's old notebooks on the occult and finds the passage he forgot long ago.

The crossroads demon.

It's not something Castiel wants to resort to, but with a situation this dire, he's ready to make that sacrifice. On the surface, Zachariah seems like a saint. He's a preacher and a man of God. He makes them attend Sunday service. That alone should be enough to ease Castiel's fears. But he hears shouting one day when his mother's not home and finds Zachariah and Gabriel in the basement. He can tell Gabriel's pulled another one of his harmless pranks, but it isn't the pink underwear that makes him pause. It's his brother's split lip and bloody nose.

He knows the deal. He exchanges his soul for one request and in ten years, the demon collects. Castiel's read the scripture and he's read Chuck's notes; he knows giving up his soul will give him a one way ticket to Hell, but if it can save his mom, if it can save Gabriel, then he's willing to give everything.

Finding a crossroads is easy enough. He lives about ten minutes from a four way intersection. He finds an old metal box in his mother's closet and puts a picture of himself in it. The graveyard by the church provides the dirt needed and he places the bag of it in the box as respectfully as he can. The bone from the black cat? That isn't as easy. That takes breaking into the community college, where they dissect cats for anatomy lessons. He makes sure not to seem too suspicious when he slips the bone into his pocket after his short tour.

"Where are you going?" Gabriel finds him about to sneak out the front door that Saturday night, the box in hand.

"Out." Castiel's willing to give his soul for his family, but he's not willing to explain; Gabriel would just twist the words and Castiel would be back in bed, ready to forget the entire thing.

"Out? I had no idea. I thought you were just checking to make sure the front door was locked." He looks pointedly at Castiel's day clothes and then his eyes soften. "Look, I know it sucks okay? But you don't need Zack finding out about this. If he does, I might not be able to protect you."

"He won't find out if you go back to bed, Gabriel." Castiel can feel the guilt welling up already, but he stands firm. "This is the one and only time."

"What's in the box? Drugs? Not any of mine, I hope." It's his brother's first defense. A joke. Nothing is worth joking about anymore, especially not Gabriel's recreational activities.

"Just trust me. Do it this once and I'll never ask for it again." Castiel keeps his poker face on; not even Gabriel can see through it. "I don't need you to protect me now."

"I'm your brother, kid. I'm always going to try and protect you." Gabriel smiles. "Asking me not to is like asking the sun not to shine." Then he scowls. "Or like asking Zack's toupee to look less like road kill." Castiel grins and Gabriel sticks his tongue out before turning serious again. "Just-Just be careful, okay?"

And with that, he heads back to his room, moving silently around the mismatched furniture and creaky floorboards. Castiel lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and opens the front door. When the lights stay off, he closes it and continues down the street. The streetlights keep him from losing his way and he's glad his neighborhood is safe because he has himself and his soul in this box. He comes to the crossroads and kneels, setting the box beside him as he begins to dig.

The soil is soft and cool beneath his palms and the dirt gets wedged under his fingernails as he digs deeper and deeper. He doesn't want the box to be unearthed, doesn't want the memory to be discovered, and so once he hits two feet, he drops the box in and pushes the soil back in. Once it looks as though he was never there, Castiel stands.

He doesn't know how long this will take; his father didn't exactly test the idea before he-

"Aren't you a little young to be selling your soul, kid?" He whips around and throws up his fists in the way Gabriel taught him.

The man standing in the middle of the crossroads doesn't look like a demon.

"Are you the crossroads demon?" Castiel lowers his fists, but keeps his guard up because it is the middle of the night and even if the guy isn't a demon, it doesn't mean he's a good guy. "Because if you're not, I have no business with you."

The man steps closer and green eyes flash red; he looks between the boy and the patch of dirt he just replaced. "Dig up the box. I don't deal with kids."

This is not what Castiel was expecting. Of all the demons, he gets the one that has a conscience. "I've done everything that's required. You have no reason not to accept the deal."

"Did you not hear the last part? I. Do not. Deal. With **kids.** Now dig up your box and go home." The demon turns away; Castiel's tempted to scream, but throwing a tantrum won't help him here.

"You haven't even heard my request." He's all of fifteen, trying to sell his soul to a demon who won't take it. His life is fucked up. "You don't even know my name!"

"Castiel Shurley." The green eyed demon whirls on him, snarling a little as he stalks toward him. "You want me to find your father." The teen must look surprised. "I knew everything about you the second that box hit dirt, kid, and the answer stays the same. _**No.**_"

"Fine. Then, I'll just go to another crossroads. You're not the only demon I can summon." But when he goes to dig the box back up-like the demon wanted-, he's yanked back up.

"Do you know what Hell is like? It's not detention or a time out! This is selling your soul and damning yourself! Stop acting like it's your only option!" The demon shakes him a little and now Castiel's angry.

"If you really knew everything about me, you'd know this is the only option! My brother's life, my mother's life, is at stake here! I will not let them suffer while I watch!" He'd already seen the light go out of Gabriel's eyes once when their father left. He can't watch it again.

Something else flashes in the demon's eyes and he lets Castiel go, but with a snap of his fingers, the box is in his hands and the boy watches as it goes up in flames.

"You're not making a deal with any demon. I'll make sure of that." The box's ashes are left to blow away in the wind and Castiel finally snaps; he runs forward and starts throwing punches.

It's like punching a wall(which he's done and regretted after he got stitches). The demon doesn't move, doesn't even flinch under Castiel's flailing. Instead, he just grabs the teen's shoulders, putting just enough pressure to leave bruises, and gently pries him away.

"You want to save your brother. It's noble. Stupid as hell seeing as he can take care of himself, but noble." He makes Castiel look at him. "Go home. Go to sleep. Forget about this stupid deal." The demon's hands haven't left him yet, but he isn't disgusted by the touch; the hands feel warm and human against his skin and Castiel welcomes the normalcy in this moment.

"That's the plan? What about my father? What about my family?" He hasn't come this far to give up now and he fixes the demon with a look that Gabriel describes as his "kicked puppy" face.

The demon finally releases his bruising grip on Castiel's shoulder, but runs a hand through the teenager's dark hair. "I'll take care of Zachariah. Just go home."

"Dean." A woman's standing beside them and if Castiel didn't feel unnaturally safe, he'd have jumped; knowing the demon's name interests him more than his lack of fear right now though and tries to catch Dean's eye. "Your brother needs you."

It doesn't work. 'Tell Sam I'm coming." The crossroads demon untangles himself and glares at Castiel once more. "I mean it, Cas. I'll take care of Zachariah."

"Throwing away a deal, Dean? What would Sammy say?" The woman smirks and Dean directs his stare at her now, but where his eyes were once green and warm, now they're red and angry.

"Sammy may be my brother, Ruby, but he's your King. I'd watch yourself, princess. Wouldn't want to get demoted, now would we?" Ruby snorts and vanishes; Dean sighs. "I'll see you around, kid."

Then, he's gone. Dean disappears just like his father, but when Castiel runs a hand over his shoulder, the bruise still lingers from the demon's hands.

He figures out what Dean meant by 'I'll take care of Zachariah'. It turns out everyone's favorite preacher had been siphoning money from the church's donation funds. He'd promptly been placed under arrest while the new preacher, one Jimmy Novak, apologizes profusely to both the congregation and to Amelia.

"Now that the darkness has passed, we can only look to a better and brighter future. God bless." Jimmy smiles upon the congregation and Castiel sees his mother's eyes warm a little when that charming grin is aimed directly at her.

Gabriel's school had been closed due to tax evasion and now he's back attending public school; he still pulls pranks and causes chaos, but now it's with a little less malice than before.

Castiel likes to bask in the glow of it, of happiness, but sometimes he'll run his fingers over the remnants of bruises in the shape of hands. He hears a gravelly voice calling him Cas as he falls asleep and every time he passes over that crossroads, he smiles. Dean is gone, just like his father, but he knows that it only takes a few ingredients to bring him back, scowling and green eyed like before.

Everything is perfect.

Gabriel wakes up in the middle of the night, coughing up blood and when they rush him to the emergency room, the doctors tell them they don't know what's wrong.

But they know that Gabriel is dying.


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah, Chapter Two is up! This might be the fastest I've updated-(While my Vampire Diaries' stories rot). Um. . .I'll get to those? :D -is hit- So I was promised delicious things if I updated. Waiting on those.

Still no actual slash; maybe getting into some pre-slash now. Nothing heavy.

_

* * *

_

_Gabriel wakes up in the middle of the night, coughing up blood and when they rush him to the emergency room, the doctors tell them they don't know what's wrong._

_But they know that Gabriel is dying._

They're sitting in the waiting room for hours(minutes, days-he doesn't know and doesn't care). Just Castiel and Amelia. No one speaks to them and they don't say a word to each other. Amelia's staring at the floor, her knee bouncing impatiently in a nervous tic. The buzz around them is deafening and Castiel can't focus on anything because the memory keeps replaying over and over again and his hands are covered in Gabriel's blood.

"Amelia! Castiel!" He looks up at his name; it's a dull echo and Jimmy Novak's nearing form is a blur. "What's going on? Is Gabriel okay?"

Jimmy's hand is a weight on his shoulder that he can't feel and the words build like a flame, shoot out like shrapnel intending to hurt. "Gabriel's dying." He can see the shock and regret on the preacher's face and Jimmy pulls Amelia into a hug, keeping one hand on Castiel's shoulder.

The weight there feels wrong. Not unpleasant, just. . .strange. Like the hand doesn't fit properly and a word, a name, rips through Castiel's mind like an arrow, tearing through the fog of pain.

_Dean._

The crossroads demon sighs for the seventh-eighth-time during this meeting. He's trying to stay awake, but really, this whole business shtick is Sammy's thing and he has no reason to be here. Especially since it's not really a meeting; it's just Ruby complaining about Dean and Castiel. Again.

So no need for Dean to be here.

"He let a deal go, my Lord. He's abusing his authority as a crossroads demon." Ruby's putting on a good front, acting noble. "If he's not going to accept any deals, then why is he stationed there?"

"I've made plenty of deals." It's hard to keep the sneer from his voice; from behind the desk, the Boy King's lip twitches in an effort to hold back a smile. "Pretty sure I've given you plenty to work with."

"Dean has the right to accept or deny whatever deals he chooses. And that is no business of yours, Ruby." It's as good as a dismissal, but she doesn't move. This time, Sam's the one to sigh. "Is there something else?"

"My Lord, you have yet to take a consort. The demons are beginning to wonder-" Sam's eyes narrow and Dean sits up with a jolt. An angry Boy King is not good.

"Beginning to wonder about what?" His voice is clipped; there's no hint of indulgence or civility and Ruby can sense it. She has to tread carefully here.

"Nothing, my Lord." Her eyes dart to Dean and then to the desk; Sam's eyes begin to fade black and Dean is so glad they're blood because Sam is _pissed_.

"Either you can say it or I can pull it from your mind, Ruby." She flinches; she knows the first option is less painful by far, but she still hesitates and whatever she's about to say is going to get them both killed.

"The demons say you're obsessed with a human soul." It pops out like she can't keep it contained and Dean needs to get out of here right the fuck now; he stands, but then he feels Sam's power keeping him pinned, pulling him back and to the wall. It's not affecting Ruby so she keeps babbling, unaware of Dean's predicament. "They say that you loved her as a human and that when she expires on Earth, you're going to take her as your consort."

Dean doesn't get a chance to tell her to shut the fuck up because Sam doesn't speak. He doesn't move when light begins to pour out of Ruby's body and she begins to scream. All Dean can do is look away as more demons rush in only to find her body a pile of ashes on the ground in the middle of Sam's office.

He didn't like Ruby; in fact he's pretty sure no one did, but Dean knows that being torn apart, burned from the inside out, has to be the worst way to die.

"I want this to be a lesson to anyone that thinks they have a say in whom I take as a consort. Anyone that has a problem can consult with what's left of Ruby." Dean looks at Sam now, who's staring down his demon personnel. "Now clean this up."

There's a flurry of activity as demons clean and exit with alarming speed. Dean feels Sam's power drop and his brother slumps against his chair, rubbing his forehead.

"You alright, Sammy?" Dean steps forward and Sam snaps his head up, responding to a name he doesn't hear often.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." But a part of him wonders if he really is anymore.

"The soul they're talking about-It's Jess, isn't it?" Dean presses the matter because he can, because Sammy would never hurt him.

"Yeah. It's her." Even saying her name makes both of their throats clench up, but it's got to be like pouring hemlock down Sam's throat.

"Just-" And Dean hasn't felt like a brother in a long while, not since he learned that ruling Hell means bashing skulls and burning bodies, not since he learned that Sam lost a little part of himself when they died; he's starting to wonder if it's just the bond repairing itself or if refusing Cas' deal gave him back the piece that he lost. "Just don't get hurt, okay? Losing her once almost killed you-"

"I know, Dean." Sam's voice is rough now, Dean's words moving him more than Ruby's death.

And that's when Dean hears it.

_Dean._

It's not even a whisper; it's a scream and he moves without thinking. Sam must have heard it too because he doesn't try to stop him save for one moment.

"Thanks, Dean." Dean pauses and then disappears out the door, rushing to get to the mortal realm; he can't see Sam's smile, the photograph he manifests from smoke and ashes or the woman's smiling face he traces with his fingertips.

Castiel's at the crossroads waiting for him and when Dean appears behind him, the human whirls around, grabbing the demon's shoulders. The blood on the teen's hands makes his heart race for reasons he can't fathom; Cas isn't bleeding so who's-

"Dean, my brother-" And he can see it without the words, can see it's Gabriel's blood all over Castiel's hands.

"Calm down." With a thought, the blood is gone and Castiel has a saint's hands again.

"I can't calm down! My brother is dying!" The desperation lacing the human's voice is so palpable that Dean could drown in it; as a crossroads demon, his instinct is to use it, but he recoils from it now, trying to quell it. "A deal-"

"No deals!" It comes out harsher than he planned and Castiel stops shaking if only because of the shock he's feeling; Dean runs a hand through the boy's hair, but Castiel rips from his embrace.

"Why? You're a demon! You take souls; you cheat people! Just take my life and let my brother keep his!" Hurt and outrage and Dean feels it cut deep.

"I'm not going to do that." Dean can save Gabriel; now that Ruby's not alive to raise objections, he has free reign as long as Sam backs his play-

"You're just going to let my brother die? You can't just make the damn deal? You don't know what this is like-" And that's the line.

"How do you think I became a demon, Cas?" Dean shoves him and the teen stumbles back, a little startled at his outburst. "My brother did the same thing you're doing! He sold his soul to save me and do you know what I did when I found out? I sold mine! We died trying to be heroes, Cas, and we both got played by a crossroads demon! I'm not going to let that happen to you or your brother!"

Castiel just stares at him and Dean kind of wishes he could swallow all those words back up. He doubts they'd settle well in his stomach. Truth is, he's never told anyone that. Sure, the rumors of how the Winchesters took over Hell were told and written, but none of them are like the truth.

The truth is, Sam and Dean were human. Four hundred years ago, they were mortal and stupid like everyone else. John and Mary were their loving and doting parents for all of ten years until they died in a fire. Then all responsibility fell to Dean to protect and support his brother and that in turn made their bond even stronger. The duel with Alistair(that vile monster), the duel that killed him, didn't kill their bond. It just changed it. It just changed them.

"I'll save your brother." Dean's drained now, emotionally and physically; he just wants to crawl into his bed and sleep for a few centuries.

"Why?" Castiel sounds just as defeated as Dean and he's looking up at him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because it wasn't the demon that killed me, Cas. It wasn't the deal or the Hellhounds ripping me apart; it was watching my brother die and knowing it was my fault." It's painful even to think about because Sam may be the Boy King and they may be demons, but Sammy is still his brother and if he can spare Cas this pain, he will.

Somewhere in the bowels of Hell, the Boy King's listening. But it's Sammy that snaps his fingers.

Dean can feel the thrum of his brother's power even this distance away and he glances at Castiel, who felt nothing at all. "Come on." He gathers the teen close and they appear in the hospital, behind Jimmy and Amelia; a patient with a cast on drops his juice and Dean smirks.

"Castiel!" Amelia's already turned and pulling her son close; Jimmy Novak is obviously relieved, but he's eying Dean like he can sense what he really is.

The demon almost rolls his eyes. Men of faith are always a pain.

"Mrs. Shurley?" The doctor that approaches them suddenly has four pairs of eyes on him; he handles the pressure well. "Your son-"

"Is Gabriel going to be okay?" Amelia is frantic, searching his face for hope.

"He's going to be just fine." The tension dissipates and the doctor looks dumbfounded. "I can't explain it, Mrs. Shurley; one minute your son is coding and the next, he's- The next, he's fine. There's no internal bleeding or damage. We'd like to keep him until this afternoon for observation, but if there's no change, he should be able to go home."

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel turns to Dean as the doctor leads Amelia and Jimmy over to the counter for useless paperwork and, without thinking, throws his arms around the demon's neck.

"Wasn't me-"

The demon tenses up, unprepared for the gratitude. Being a demon, he doesn't get thanked often, but he reacts quickly, returning the hug. It's . . .nice. Like he belongs here. His chin is resting on the ridiculous mop the boy calls hair when he sees the patient in the cast still staring at them.

And then he remembers that a thirty year old hugging a fifteen year old boy he is clearly not related to looks a little weird. Especially if you teleported in with them. So Dean carefully untangles himself.

Besides, Dean shouldn't be getting used to this. Castiel's human. Dean's a demon. Whatever this is needs to stop now before either of them get attached.

"I'll see you around, kid." Dean ruffles the boy's hair and disappears again, leaving Castiel alone again standing in the waiting room.

The patient in the cast looks around, the expression on his face clearly in disbelief that he's the only witness. Castiel catches him staring and he does the only thing he can think of. He shrugs.

"Castiel, where'd that man go? And where did you disappear to?" Amelia's back and Jimmy's behind her; the teen sighs and runs a hand over his face.

"Can we see Gabriel first? Then I promise I'll explain everything."

Sam's still in his office when Dean materializes across his desk. "You saved that kid's life." He's too busy reading the paper to bother meeting his brother's gaze.

"I figured people would argue less if I did it versus you doing it. Less paperwork for me." Sam sips his coffee and finally looks over his paper at Dean.

His brother is beaming, his eyes alight and dancing; Sam's breath catches in his chest and suddenly, he's smiling too, smiling so hard it's almost painful.

This moment encompasses everything Sam has missed. His brother is smiling at him and once he has Jess, their world will be perfect. He'll have a consort and they'll have children and Dean will be an uncle.

Sam can't wait.


	3. Chapter 3

So part 3 is up! Yay! Not much(any) Dean/Cas interaction in this part! Just plot. Stupid stupid plot!

* * *

_His brother is beaming, his eyes alight and dancing; Sam's breath catches in his chest and suddenly, he's smiling too, smiling so hard it's almost painful. _

_This moment encompasses everything Sam has missed. His brother is smiling at him and once he has Jess, their world will be perfect. He'll have a consort and they'll have children and Dean will be an uncle. _

_Sam can't wait._

By the time Gabriel's home and pulling pranks again, everyone seems to have forgotten Dean's presence in the waiting room and for that Castiel is grateful. He doesn't know how'd he explain Dean.

It turns out he has to do it anyway.

He's just gotten home from school three days after Gabriel's recovery when he sees the priest's car out front, but that's no surprise. Jimmy's been coming over to check on them since the hospital. It's the chill that shoots up his spine and the fact that today of all days, he left his father's notes in his room instead of tucking it inside his jacket's breast pocket.

Castiel runs inside, dropping his bag and sprinting up the stairs past his mother; his door has been left ajar and he throws it open. His heart drops.

"Would you care to explain this, Castiel?" Jimmy's holding the book up with one hand, perched in Castiel's desk chair like he has every right to be here.

"Would you care to explain why you're in my room?" The best defense is a good offense. Gabriel taught him that.

"I told Amelia I was curious about the man you were with. She suggested I look here." Jimmy looks a little guilty, but only a little and it makes Castiel angry. "And I found these."

"Those are my father's and none of your business." He wants to rip them from the man's hands, but it'd be a sign of discomfort and Jimmy would know he's right.

"Your father's?" Jimmy begins flipping through the pages and the teen's hair stands on end; he clenches his fists. "What did your father do for a living?"

"He was a writer." Castiel takes a seat on his bed. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like you to leave."

"Was that man a crossroads demon, Castiel?" Once it's said, the sentence is just hanging there like the elephant in the room and the teen's breath catches in his throat.

Then he shakes his head. "Really? That's the best you can come up with?" He's chuckling, trying to hide his trembling. "Is it that hard to believe that I have friends?"

"Castiel-" Jimmy sets the little booklet down and reaches out, but the teenager just moves away.

"Get out." He's done explaining himself. He hasn't done anything wrong and he won't be interrogated like some sort of criminal.

The priest sighs and nods, rising from the chair and moving out the door. The booklet remains open on Castiel's desk and the teen can't help but stare at it. Once he hears Jimmy descend the stairs, he darts across the room and grabs it, checking for any ripped out pages. When he finds none, he calms down.

But Jimmy Novak has a photographic memory.

The next time Dean is summoned, he arrives at the crossroads with a smile, expecting Castiel. What he gets is a priest with a bible and a gun. The smile slips from his face and the demon begins to scowl. Great.

"I knew it." It's the man from the hospital-Novak? Dean shrugs inwardly. No matter. "You're a demon."

"What gave you that idea?" He sticks his hands in his pockets and steps forward; he's delighted to see the priest step back. "It's not often I get a man of God looking for a deal."

"I don't want a deal, demon." The priest-Jimmy, that's his name-clears his throat.

"I have a name, you know. It's Dean if you're interested. And I don't believe you for a second. Have everything you want? I saw you eying Amelia back at the hospital." Dean laughs when Jimmy's eyes widen. "I can give you her. You could have it all. Pretty wife, two kids, white picket fence. That what you want, Jimmy?"

"You leave Amelia out of this!" The priest stalks forward, gun raised and cocked; Dean just tilts his head.

"You think that's going to kill me? I'm a **demon**. That little water pistol isn't going to hurt me." He snaps his fingers and summons up a chair to recline in; he watches Jimmy fumble around as he relaxes. "Just tell me what you want."

The priest takes a deep breath. "I want you to give Castiel's soul back." The demon starts laughing again, but this time he can't stop; by the time he's done, his ribs hurt and his throat is rough. "This isn't a joke!"

"I can't give back what I don't have." Jimmy's face is priceless. Dean might start laughing again.

"I don't believe you. You're a demon. All you do is lie. I know you've spoke to Castiel and if he's made a deal, I want you to undo it!" A gun-wielding priest making demands. Dean really will start laughing again.

"I didn't make a deal with him." Jimmy must see the truth in the demon's eyes because he lowers the gun. "What can I say? I like the kid."

"That's another lie. Demons can't like; they can't love." It's said in bewilderment, but in disgust as well-

And **that's **what makes Dean's eyes go black. He's a demon. He understands the concern, but-

Demons can love; demons can feel. Dean knows that better than anyone. He loves Sammy more than life itself; Sammy's his younger brother for fuck's sake and Hell, he even likes Castiel more than he's willing to let on. He's watched demons crumble and burn for love. So fuck this priest for preaching about what he doesn't know.

"I'm going to let that one slide because you're a priest and you don't know any better." Dean's eyes narrow. "But you say one more word and I'll drag you down to the Pit no questions asked."

"You can't-" Jimmy steps back, gun raised again.

"My brother? He's the Boy King. He runs the place and me being blood? It makes me second in command. I can do whatever I want." Dean scowls. "Don't test me."

Dean's ready to disappear when Jimmy speaks again. "Why didn't you make a deal? That's what you do, right? Make deals and take souls. What was special about Castiel?"

The demon pauses. "Castiel is-he's just-" His lips form a smile without his consent and he looks up at Jimmy. "Cas is just different." It's not something that can be explained. It just is.

Then, Dean's gone and Jimmy the priest is left in the crossroads with his gun and his bible.

When Jimmy sees Castiel again, it's after church. The teenager is waiting at the doors with Amelia and Gabriel; the woman's grinning. Her lips are pink and her eyes have the lightest shade of eye shadow around them. Jimmy's never seen anyone so beautiful.

Gabriel and Castiel, however, are whispering quietly; Gabriel looks irritated but amused and Castiel's excited, gesturing with his hands. It's the first time the priest has seen him so animated. He wonders if they're talking about Dean.

"Would you like to come over for dinner?" Amelia's a little breathless and Jimmy should shy away from this, but it'd be nice to connect to someone and it'd be a good chance to keep an eye on Castiel.

He and Amelia discuss their plans, but when she and Gabriel walk away, Castiel blocks his path. "I know you talked to Dean last night." And Jimmy should have known that Dean would tell the boy. "I followed you. I knew you wouldn't let it go."

"I'm just looking out for you." Jimmy wants to protect him because the kid couldn't know about demons and their true intentions; demons always find a way to get what they want.

"I appreciate it. But you're not my father." It's like a slap to the face and Jimmy could recoil with the shock. "Dean may be a demon, but he won't hurt me. He refused on two occasions to make a deal with me. So leave it alone."

And Castiel walks away standing a little bit taller; the priest has to wonder if this bold new teenager is a result of Dean's influence.

The Boy King looks on with amusement. He always knew his brother had a fondness for fiery humans, but this one. This one might be perfect for him. He's pleased and about to smile when a demon knocks. He wipes the emotion away and bids the demon to enter.

"My Lord, we've made progress with the human female." Its voice is grating on the Boy King's ears, but he ignores it.

"Good." He settles into his chair, waving the minion away, but the demon doesn't move. "What is it?"

"My Lord, this human is pure. How do you intend to get her here?" It's a good question. He'll admit to that.

But as the demon smolders and smokes, the Boy King decides that he should get more mute henchmen.

Once the demon is just ashes, The Boy King turns the feed back on and watches Jess flutter around her workplace; Sammy smiles sadly and lets his fingertips wander over the image of her face.

He knows having her will bring a bit of chaos to Hell. It's not every day that the King of Hell takes a human consort, but the Boy King wants what he wants.

Still, he'll have to fight. He's only been ruling for 400 years Hell time and it doesn't amount to much, but he's still king.

But he has only one decision to make. Does Sammy fight Heaven for his one true love?

Or does the Boy King make Jess a demon?


	4. Chapter 4

Yay, part four! Angst, schmoop, pre-slash, yay! Read and review people. It's the only thing keeping me going.

_

* * *

_

_He knows having her will bring a bit of chaos to Hell. It's not every day that the King of Hell takes a human consort, but the Boy King wants what he wants. _

_Still, he'll have to fight. He's only been ruling for 400 years Hell time and it doesn't amount to much, but he's still king. _

_But he has only one decision to make. Does Sammy fight Heaven for his one true love?_

_Or does the Boy King make Jess a demon?_

When Castiel was young, his mother told him not to hate anyone; it was good advice for when he was naïve and innocent to the ways of the world and teenage girls.

Now he hates them all.

Not because they're mean or jeering(although some are), but because they're so damn confusing. He told Gabriel this and all his brother did was wiggle his eyebrows and say that women aren't that much of a mystery. Castiel suspects that the Indian girl Kali has something to do with Gabriel's attitude even though she told Gabriel if he came anywhere near her, she'd rip his balls off. Gabriel was either riding the high of almost dying-even though a month should have been long enough to get if out of his system-or he was naturally a moron.

Castiel suspects the latter.

He tells Dean this at the crossroads, his body stretched out on the grass, looking up at the stars, and the demon laughs, throwing his head back and exposing the line of his throat. Jimmy told him demons couldn't laugh, that demons couldn't feel anything but hate. This moment, the expression on Dean's face, proves him wrong and Castiel's heart swells with the knowledge that he has the privilege to see it.

"Your brother sounds like an idiot, Cas." Dean smiles over at him and there are so many questions he wants to ask about the Boy King. But he won't. Dean will talk about him when he's ready.

"He is." Castiel's smiling too and the demon knows it's a rare occurrence so he treasures it; he wants to bottle it and keep it around his neck.

And then he remembers the _other _part of the subject. The smile drops from his face. "So any particular girl you're looking at?"

In truth, he hasn't been looking at any of them with anything but disgust; for some reason, he's reluctant to tell Dean that. "Anna has been showing interest in me." That is partly true; the girl from his history class is interested in him.

"Anna? Huh." Dean's torn between being nice and giving Castiel advice or finding the girl and bludgeoning her to death. "Is she hot?"

"She's adequate." She isn't horrible looking though she wears too much make up for Castiel to consider her attractive.

"'Adequate'? Cas, don't settle for someone average, man. You can do a lot better." Dean's struck with the urge to know what exactly Castiel considers 'hot'. The boy isn't exactly a sexual guy and the demon's wondering if Cas is asexual. Part of him hopes he is because it means Castiel won't be with anyone and the other part hopes-

Dean tries not to hope too much.

"It's never stopped Gabriel." His brother's conquests usually ranged from hideous to supermodel. With Gabriel-and Dean, the boy suspects-it's about the challenge, not the girl.

"Yeah, well, your brother is in love with a girl named for the Hindu goddess of death. He's a _great _example." Dean rolls his eyes.

Castiel's quiet for a moment and then two and Dean's about to ask what's wrong when the boy speaks again. "Have you ever been in love, Dean?"

It's a loaded question and the first thing Dean thinks of is Jimmy Novak sneering. _Demons can't love. _The next memory is of sulfur and smoke and the Winchester brothers being ripped apart by Hellhounds. _Sammy, Sammy's too far away and he's screaming because his brother's body is being ripped to pieces and Dean __**failed**__- _And the memory after that is John and Mary Winchester burning alive as the firemen carry the boys away. _Dean can hear Sammy calling out, but Mom's scream is pure agony and he wishes he couldn't hear it-_

"The people I love tend not to live very long, Cas." Dean wishes he could manifest a beer right now and then he remembers that he can so he does; he takes a long drink to push back the burn of unshed tears. He feels like a chick right now.

He doesn't look at Castiel's face. So he doesn't see the sympathy there. "Is it because you're a demon or-?" Cas trails off.

If anyone else asked the question, Dean would have started swearing and left. But this is Cas, blunt, socially awkward Cas, and Dean knows better. "There are a few different versions. People say we're reincarnations of Cain and Abel; others say we're just descendants of them and our bloodline's cursed. No one knows for sure." He takes another drink. "I just think we have shitty luck personally, but apparently, everyone has to make a huge deal out of it."

Castiel wants to ask if Dean's ever considered that his choice is the worst one; at least with the other two, there's a _reason _behind it; there's a reason for the suffering of so many people.

"Who would have enough power to curse a bloodline?" Castiel says instead, staring at an especially bright star.

"To start a curse? Not a lot. But to keep it going for generations? It takes a lot of juice, Cas. A lot of juice and a lot of hate." Dean looks over at him with the kind of tenderness he used to show Sam as a kid, when Sam told him he'd take care of Dean or something else as equally absurd but still cute. "Cas-"

"And how would someone go about breaking it?" And now the tenderness is mixed with pain because Cas is too young to be thinking about being a hero. Dean knows how that story ends.

"I don't know. For all I know, it broke when Sam and I died." It never even crossed his mind to research it just because of how trivial it seemed now.

"I'll look into it. A curse doesn't just die." Castiel stands up, a new fire in his eyes, but the demon rises too, looking uneasy.

"Cas, you're fifteen. Guys your age are busy chasing tail or skipping class, not breaking curses. Leave it alone." Dean doesn't add that most kids don't hang out with demons either.

"Most kids don't hang out with demons either." _Damn it Cas. _It's not angry; it's frustrated and pained and Dean told himself he wasn't going to get attached, but damn it he did and now-

And now Cas is attached too.

"This isn't your battle, Cas; hell, there might not even be a battle! Just let it go." Dean runs a hand through his hair.

"But what if there is? I could at least try to help you-" Castiel's eyes are bright, alight with passion and determination _and he's watched demons crumble and burn for love_. And he told himself he'd never be one of them. "I'm not going to let this go, Dean."

"I should never have gotten you involved." Dean can't bring himself to regret knowing Cas, but he can sure as hell regret letting Cas know him. "This was a mistake."

"What, Dean? What was a mistake? Telling me about your bloodline? Or thinking I wouldn't want to help you?"

"The mistake was letting you get this close!" Dean's powers are flaring a little and the ground rumbles; he can't fucking help it. "I'm a demon, kid, and you seem to forget that a lot. You're fifteen; you'll live a couple decades and then you'll die and I'll never see you again! I'm a demon; I'm going to live until the world implodes! This stupid fucking friendship was the mistake!"

The words come out bitter and harsh and not at all like Dean wanted, but the message is the same.

"No." Dean lifts his head to look Cas in the eye and the boy looks hurt but brave. "You've lost people your entire life, Dean, but no matter how hard you push me away, you're not going to lose me."

It's basically a slap in the face to everything Dean's ever known or considered. No one's ever argued with him before, no one but family, because no one messes with a high ranking demon and this kid, this fifteen year old scrap of a human, just turned his fucking world upside down(or maybe now it's right side up because now everything's right whereas before it was all wrong).

"The things you say, Cas-" Dean can't even finish speaking; he's that fucking turned around.

"Dean, I meant what I said. I'm not walking away." Castiel's an idiot for believing he can save a demon.

And that makes Dean an even bigger idiot for wanting to believe the kid can.

"Go home, Cas." The sun's almost up and Amelia already grounded him once for sneaking out. "Stay out of trouble."

Castiel nods, walking away without a goodbye from either of them. Not like either of them could stay away if they tried.

The Boy King's watching the live feed when Dean returns. "Sam, what are you doing?"

Jess is on the screen. With a man.

"Sammy-" Dean has no idea what's going on, but he knows that a jealous Boy King is not good.

"Relax. I'm not going to destroy anything." Sam shuts off the feed. "Besides, they haven't done anything to be upset about."

Sam doesn't know whether to be sad that his death hit Jess so hard or happy that she hasn't started falling in love with anyone else. He rules Hell; he's a demon so the selfish option isn't unreasonable, but he's still himself so he settles for being torn between both.

"How're things with Castiel?" He avoids the nickname. Dean wouldn't like him using it.

"That kid, Sam- It's unreal." Dean sounds exasperated, but he's smiling softly like it's out of his control and Sam lets his own grin show.

The Winchesters have never been good at falling in love. It took Sam nearly a year to tell Jess he was interested in her and Dean just never allowed himself to. It's good that he's taking the chance now. Sam wants to see his brother happy. Almost as much as he wants to see Jess again.

And as for the choice he has to make- Why should he be the one to decide whether Jess becomes a demon or not?

Why not just ask her?


End file.
